Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
