That's intense
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
