Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
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