3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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