The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
