Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
