Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
