I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
