My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
