whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
