Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
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i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
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He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.