I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dating After Heartbreak
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.