Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.