marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the condom got lost in my hair
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.