so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
