you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
