Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize