I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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