i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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