Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
