I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
