it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
