In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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