he shaved USA in his pubs
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
