Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
