Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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