All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
my poor anus
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
