We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize