people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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