Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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