just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
