No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
