You were right. It hurts to walk today.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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