Your tits are I can't wait for
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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