i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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