He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
