it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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