dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
