Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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