sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
