He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
