your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize