Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
