we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
