I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
