The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
