So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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