Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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