I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
