oh god the rape fog is back!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
