i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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