ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
