dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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