I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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