The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dignity is for republicans.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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