This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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