Are we in a gay sports bar?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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