I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I understand Curling. That high.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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