white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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