his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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