I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
