So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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