He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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