I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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