There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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