im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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