p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
